A Voice For Squeak
by nownowparamour
Summary: What did Squeak think about the way black women were treated in 1930's Georgia? Find out here


"_She a nice girl, friendly and everything, but she like me. She do anything Harpo say."_

_....._

Dear God,

Why they call me Squeak? My name not Squeak. My name Mary Agnes. So why they call me Squeak? Cos I little. I like a mouse. I nothing. Harpo tell me what to do. He say, Cook. I cook. He say, Clean. I clean.

Sofia walk through Harpo door today. He look at her. An look. I try git his tension. Why he care bout her? She left him. Now he leave me. He go to her. He talk to her. What he saying?

Sofia git up. She leaving? No. She stay. Put her arms round Harpo neck. They dance! Why they dance? My face git all red an hot. He my man. I his woman. Soon I git up. Skuttel over. Harpo tend like he can't see me. I tap his shoulder. I tap an tap an tap. They stop.

Shug sat close with Celie. Uh-oh, she say, something bout to blow right there. She got that right.

Who dis woman, I say.

I know who she is. I want him say it.

You know who she is, Harpo say. He speak to me like I little. Like I a mouse. Like I nothing.

Sofia big like elephant. But elephants scared a mice. I say, You better leave him alone.

She shrug. Say, Fine with me.

I smile. I can't win Harpo but I can Sofia. She a woman. She like me.

Harpo hold her. Say, You don't have to go nowhere. Hell, dis your house.

My face git hot again. What you mean? Dis her house? She walk out on you. Walk away from the house. It over now.

Harpo still hold her. Why he still hold her? I his now. Why he not holding me?

Listen Squeak, Harpo say. Can't a man dance with his own wife?

Why he call me Squeak? My name not Squeak.

I shake. Eyes water. Say, Not if he my man he can't. You hear that, bitch? I say to Sofia. I never say that word. But Sofia just a woman. She just like me.

She say again, Hey, fine with me.

She say it like she done. But I aint. I slap her cross the head. That teach her. She hit me back. But she use her fist. I gasp. Two teefs fall out my mouth. I fall to floor. Why she punch me? Women don't punch. Men punch. Sofia not a woman. Sofia a man.

You git that bitch out a here, I say. I scream. Blood run down my chin.

I look at Harpo. He look down at me. He still holding Sofia. Why he still holding her? Finally, he let go an hold me. Coo at me. Hush me. Sofia leave. Harpo stare at her. Why he stare at her? Why he care bout her? Why he not care bout me?

Harpo love Sofia, that why. He never love me. Why would he? I only little. I only a mouse. I nothing.

.....

Dear God,

Harpo sad. Why he sad? I try git his tension. Follow him round. He don't look at me. He stare into distance. I know what he thinking. He thinking bout Sofia. Sofia, Sofia, Sofia. All day long.

I give up. Taste salt on my tung. Go over to the corner where Miss Celie an Mr ____ sit.

Miss Celie, I say, What the matter with Harpo?

Sofia in jail, she say.

In jail? What she in jail for? I ast.

I glad. Sofia can't have Harpo when she in jail. Harpo all mine now.

Sassing the mayor's wife, Celie say. She look at me. Puzzle. Try figure me out, I reckon. What your real name? She ast.

I look at her. Throat go dry. Nobody ast me that befor. Nobody care. I cough, say, Mary Agnes.

Make Harpo call you by your real name, Celie say.

I stare. Eyebrows pull together. What got into her? Harpo never call me by my real name. I his little Squeak.

Celie tell me bout Sofia.

Sofia went to town. Took her children with her. Clam out the car just as the mayor an his wife walk by. Mayor's wife look at children. Coo at them. She ast Sofia, Would you like to work for me, be my maid?

Sofia say, Hell no.

My mouth hang wide, show my gold teef.

Mayor slap Sofia.

Celie stop talking. I on edge a my seat. I quiet. Wait.

No need to say no more, Mr ____ say. You know what happen if somebody slap Sofia.

I go white. My face cold. My hands shake. I say, Naw.

Celie say, Naw nothing. Sofia knock the man down.

I say nothing. Just stare. An stare. Feel funny inside. I hate her. Hate her for hitting me. Hate how Harpo love her. But she strong. She fight back. An I like that.

.....

Dear God,

Us all sit. Us all think. Us think bout how we gon bust Sofia out a jail. Me, Miss Celie, Shug, Mr ____ an Odessa. Henry too. They call him the prizefighter. I don't. I know what it like.

Mr ____ say, Sofia not gon last.

Harpo say, Yeah, she look little crazy to me.

And what she had to say. My God, say Shug.

Mr ____ say, Us got to do something, and be right quick bout it.

What can us do? I ast. Don't seem like we can do nothing, if you ast me. I too tired. I watch Sofia's children all day. I so tired. But I carry on. If Sofia can be strong, I can. If Sofia can fight back, I can.

Harpo say, Bust her out. Git some dinamite off the gang that's building that big bridge down the road, blow the whole prison to kingdom come. Us look at Harpo. Us all know that a dum idea. Even I know.

Me an Celie say nothing. Us both quiet. What she thinking? I aint thinking nothing. My mind blank.

I hear Harpo say, Hodges. Bubber Hodges.

I know that name.

Mr ____ say, Old man Henry Hodges' boy. Used to live out on the old Hodges' place.

Got a brother name Jimmy? I ast.

Yeah, say Mr ____. You know them?

I know them.

He my cousin, I say. I duck my head. Face git red.

Say what? Mr ____ say.

He my cousin, I say again.

He your what? Mr ____ ast.

Cousin, I say.

Mr ____ look at me. They all look at me. Push my hair away. Well, say Mr ____, look like you the one to go.

Go where, I ast.

Go see the warden, he say. He your uncle.

I say nothing.

.....

Dear God,

I see the warden. I smell the warden. I feel the warden. He clam on top a me. He not like Harpo. He scare me. Beat me. I cry. Try git away but he hold me. He laff.

He take off my hat, my dress. I close my eyes. Feel like I in a trap. Think of Celie. How she shut herself off. I wait. Little Squeak in little mousetrap. Wait for the _snap_. Finally he done. Git off me.

Lord, why he do that?

Harpo mad. He gon git the warden.

I say, Shut up, Harpo.

And he do.

I say, Harpo, do you really love me, or just my color?

He kneel. Say, I love you, Squeak.

He try hold me. Coo at me. Hush me.

I stand up. Look down at him.

My name Mary Agnes, I say.

.....

Dear God,

I sing now. I like it. They like it too. Call me Mary Agnes. Only call me Squeak sometime.

Why they call me Squeak? Cos I little? Cos I a mouse? Cos I nothing?

Naw, Cos a my voice.


End file.
